Dating Game

Tears ran down my eldest daughter’s face when I asked her how she would feel if I started dating.  My younger daughter on the other hand replied, “as long as he isn’t a jerk.  I guess its fine”.  However, they both looked at me in disbelief that I would contemplate dating.  Frankly I am in disbelief as well.

Perhaps it is because I had managed to let go some of my anger while walking the Camino or perhaps it is shear fact that my daughter will be leaving for college in the fall.  Whatever the reason or combination of reasons, I felt that it is time and that I am ready.

The last time that I went on a date was in the mid-1990s.  Things have changed a little in the dating world.  I no longer have an unmarried friend circle with like-minded individuals.  I don’t belong to any congregation and meeting someone at my work, not only inappropriate, but incomprehensible. 

Several friends suggested online dating.  First I tried Bumble for maybe a week when I realized that I “swiped” the wrong way indicating that I “LIKE” the guy when I was actually passing.  After realizing my mistake, I panicked and deleted the app. 

Next I tried Match.com.  On my first day on Match I was approached by several men.  The one that caught my attention was a 58 year old Norwegian.  I half-jokingly said to my friend that both Asian and American men are off my list so it’s time to give Europe a chance. 

For over a month, Chris and I talked, texted, and emailed each other.   Our schedule was never in-sync for us to actually meet in person.  However we finally had a date in mind.

Christopher Hansen– divorced with a 15 yr old son.  His ex-wife cheated on him with his best friend and they are actually living together.  They have been divorced for 9 yrs.  His ex and son live in Beverly Hills, CA.  He has a cat named Queen.  He is liberal and has lived in the States for 30 years.  He moved here with his mother.  His father was abusive.  He is the only child.  His mother died almost a year ago of breast cancer.  He moved to Dallas from San Antonio after his mother’s death.  He purchased a house on White Rock Lake and works as a contractor for Halliburton.  Chris’ company manages oil spills all over the world.  He travels a lot but being self-employed gives him the flexibility to take long vacations; visit his son, etc.

Did I mention that Chris is very cute and has that sexy European accent; and that he rarely eats meat? He also works out every day.  He doesn’t smoke but definitely enjoys a nice bottle of wine or whiskey at times.

Chris was in Cyprus while I was in Paris.  We exchanged text and spoke only once due to time difference and I wasn’t ready to say anything to my daughters about our communication.  I returned Dallas and Chris was to follow suit soon after. 

Then crisis happened!  One of his equipment needed repair in order to finish the job and there was some glitch with his credit card.  He needed me lend him money, only temporarily of course! He promised to pay me back as soon as he was back in Dallas.

I was a little heartbroken and pissed that my very first attempt was a scam.  Chris knew a LOT about me and I can only assume that he googled Shama.  There aren't too many of us with that name in the DFW area.

If you are wondering, I didn't send him any money.  Some men may perceive me as a woman of "certain age" who is desperate for companionship and is willing to do anything.  I probably come off rather naive too.  Apparently there were lessons to be learned about online dating and fortunately I didn't waste too much time learning them.

I am not ready to give up on men, especially European men! But to all romance scammers out there, I may let you break my heart but my bank account?  Not a chance!

PS- since Chris, I have communicated with two other scammers.  But now I am much better at identifying them.

Be Smart; Be Safe; Use an Alias, if you have an uncommon name; Swipe LEFT to PASS; and Don’t GIVE UP -or-

 “You will have to spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is married to your husband” - When Harry Met Sally