Each time I open my pantry door or my refrigerator, I am reminded of my blessings. My home is safe, the abundance of food, hygiene products, even pet food to last us a month, may even longer without setting a foot inside a store. Not to mention, I am fairly healthy and those I love are too.
Like many, my job isn’t secure. Our development team consists of five senior Directors and I am the newest hire. If cuts and hard decisions are to be made, I will be out of work. This reality has caused panic, a constant state of heartburn, and many sleepless nights. How long can I financially survive without an income? I have done the math and have somewhat of a game plan. However, like many of you, my game plan is evolving because no one knows how long this will continue. My employer’s headquarter is based in New York, the epicenter of the virus. I don’t think that I need to say anything further.
What I find myself struggling with these last couple of weeks is allowing myself permission to express my fears. By expressing our “first world” fears, we are often criticized for sounding insensitive to other circumstances which are far more critical than our own. Perspective-taking is healthy but it is also healthy to know and feel that your fears and disappointments are valid.
My daughter said to me (paraphrasing), “this is not the way I wanted to end my first year of college”. I responded, “just think of all the seniors who aren’t going to have graduation”. My response was not empathic. I tried to overshadow her disappointment with someone else’s disappointment. She wasn’t saying that ending her first year early is the worst thing that came out of COVID-19. She was simply expressing her disappointment which is her to own.
Showing empathy is a struggle for me especially when I approach my children’s feelings as “complaints”. However, as I reflect on my own disappointment due to canceled trips and fears for my job, I am reminded that now more than ever, we need empathy.
Virtual hugs to all and stay home!
